Sky Blue and Black
by butterfly.cell
Summary: -"Jack’s heart was gripped by a huge iron fist as he slowly turned on the spot, dreading to see what had happened." Who was it who fell to John's bullet? Sequel to Just Like a Man, Dizzy and Danger Zone. Jack/Ianto
1. Chapter 1

It looks like you guys are in luck! I decided to post this straight away becuase I love this story too much not to... I was fully planning on making you wait a few days, but my heart won out! You guys really made me smile! I came back from school to a torrent of emails and found a surprising number of them to be in rpely to yesterday's ending chapter :D

This song is a really _REALLY_ beautiful song and I would advise **EVERYONE** reading to go away and listen to it. The lyrics tie in quite heavily in some places just becasue the song means so much to me - it'd be delighted if you could give it at least a play through.

~Sky Blue and Black by Jackson Browne

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters in this fanfic, they belong to Russel T. Davies and their performers. Lyrics belong to Jackson Browne.

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_Sky Blue and Black_

Chapter 1

_**In the calling out to one another  
Of the lovers up and down the strand  
In the sound of the waves and the cries  
Of the seagulls circling the sand**_

Jack's heart was gripped by a huge iron fist as he slowly turned on the spot, dreading to see what had happened. The shot had rung out, scattering his senses. He couldn't speak, couldn't breath, couldn't concentrate on anything. The only thing that mattered was finding where the bullet had hit home.

Time slowed right down and it seemed to take a lifetime for him to blink and open his eyes on the scene behind him.

He took in Tosh and Gwen kneeling down and Owen hurriedly searching for something in the SUV. In the middle of them all was the sight that he'd never wanted to see. Since he'd first looked into those eyes, this was the one possibility that had chilled him to the bone.

In the middle of them was Ianto, lying on his back, gripping at his stomach, his breathing laboured as he coughed blood - the harsh, gurgling of blood in his throat and mouth made Jack's hair stand on end. The young man gritted his teeth, groaning and crying in pain as he clutched at his stomach, blood bubbling and streaming through his fingers and across his skin.

In a flash - after no more than a split second - time caught up and Owen was yelling at him to move his arse. Without thinking, Jack skidded over to Ianto and knelt beside him, pulling his hands from the wound and lifting up his shirt. He felt bile rise up in his throat as he saw the wound and realised that John, true to form, had used a particularly lethal variety of bullet.

"It's shredded his insides, he needs to get to a hospital." Jack murmured as Owen joined him. Owen opened his mouth and was about to protest when Jack's face contorted in fear and anger and he snarled. "Now!"

Jack hoisted Ianto into his arms, unable to stop himself from making Ianto cry out in pain. Jack gritted his teeth as his mind snarled like a wild animal - fury, horror and fear tangling viciously in his stomach. Fifty first century humans were barbaric, they really were. It was times like this when Jack didn't see the point in saving humanity if they would end up producing weapons of war and soldiers like John Hart.

The team fell into a flawless pattern, Gwen and Tosh in the front, Gwen driving, and Owen sitting in the back with Jack, Ianto draped across them. His breathing was getting shallower and his movements grew sluggish, his hands feebly trying to grip onto Jack every time they were jostled.

"I'll kill him…" He croaked, eyes closed and his face screwed up in pain. He breathed shallowly and Jack heard the air crackle and splatter through the blood collecting in his mouth once more. "If he ever comes back, I'll kill him…"

"Not if I get to him first." Jack said with a growl, brushing Ianto's hair off his forehead. He felt the young man chuckle weakly, but the sound died away long before it should and Owen swore loudly again.

"Gwen, step on it!" He snapped as he pushed Ianto's hands back and inspected the wound. "There's nothing I can do from here, it's massive internal bleeding. Jack, you have to prepare yourself for it to go bad."

"I'm not losing him, not like this." Jack said quietly, a steely determination in his voice, his eyes fixed on Ianto's bloodless face. He was silent for a long time before he spoke again, his voice still menacingly calm. "He'll have bruises in the morning…"

"What do you mean?" Owen asked in alarm as Jack continued to stare unseeingly at the broken man.

"That bullet… They ricochet around, tearing up everything in their paths and spreading general mayhem." Jack muttered bitterly. "He'll have a bruise around the wound."

"Jack, he has an exit wound as well, but you obviously understand the damage it did in the mean time." Owen was doing his best to make sure Jack understood, to draw him out of his seeming denial.

Jack didn't say another word until they got to the hospital a few minutes later, he carried Ianto inside and with a few harsh words and orders, the staff took the wounded man immediately to a trauma room.

Jack followed to stand outside the doors, hands splayed out in front of him, palms up. He'd been fully intending on staying with Ianto, but something refused to let him walk through those doors, to get any closer to the erratic beeping of the monitors and the technical yells and murmuring as the doctors worked.

He heard a jagged noise and the world started to tremor, but it was the hand that rested on his shoulder that snapped him out of his trance. He turned his head to see Owen looking at him in concern and it was then that he realised he was shaking, his entire being juddering.

"Jack, sit down." Owen said carefully, fully aware that no matter what orders he gave as a doctor, Jack would ignore them if he felt like it.

"There was so much blood, Owen… Too much blood." Jack muttered viciously, jerking away from Gwen's touch, looking back through the windows of the doors to catch a glimpse of Ianto. There were tubes and wires running all over him and a ventilator breathing for him. Gauze and blood alreayd littered the floor, dark and bright and menacing. Jack's stomach churned again. There was too much of it. There was just too much.

He shook his head and clenched his hands, ignoring the feeling of the thick blood on his skin, staining his clothes. He'd never been one to be this startled by pain and death, but something about it being Ianto made him snap. He turned and walked silently from the hospital, the crowds parting at the sight of him.

He walked slowly, as if through a dream, exiting the large glass doors and walking down the street. He had no destination in his mind but to get away from there – from the blood and Ianto's pale, broken body.

He didn't know how long he walked for, but at some point, he had the sense to wipe most of the blood on his hands off on his shirt, wrapping his coat a little tighter around him as he did so. He heard his mobile buzzing at some point as well, but he let it ring through to the answer phone.

Somehow, he found himself on the pier, walking along the wooden planks, passing several happy couples, curled up together in the cool evening and watching the sun set over the water. He glanced around as he approached the end and saw seagulls eyeing the people eating chips, the people surrounding him laughing and chatting happily, enjoying the perfectly mundane evening.

He felt his heart throb painfully and he suddenly ached to see Ianto laughing at him for doing something wrong in the archives, or scolding him for trying to use his coffee machine. He would settle for anything as long as it meant he said _something_.

With a sigh, he pulled out his mobile as it started to ring again. He check the caller ID and his throat tightened at the name: 'Owen'.

"Yes?" He said harshly, trying to hear any tell-tale sounds in the background.

"He's in surgery." Owen said wearily. "I think you should get back here."

Before Jack could say anything else, Owen cut the call and he could only stare at the handset, ignoring the screaming in the back of his head and trying to settle it down into submission. For a moment, he debated about stopping back at the Hub to get a change of clothes, but his heart decided it had had enough. It needed to be near Ianto, so that's what Jack did.

He ran.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm over the moon about the reception off you guys! Even at that chapter, which is more like ER than Torchwood! The real action picks up in the next couple of chapters ;)

I hope you enjoy it guys, thankyou SO much for the comments!

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Chapter 2

_**In the fragments of the songs  
Carried down the wind from some radio  
In the murmuring of the city in the distance  
Ominous and low**_

It took Jack almost a third of the time to return to the hospital. He didn't break pace once, charging through to streets back the way he'd come. People stopped and stared but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, his feet finding their own way to the hospital as his mind chanted nothing to him - an empty nothing that didn't contain any thought at all. There was nothing but the sound of his blood pumping in his ears.

If he thought, he'd think of Ianto and he'd think of times that would hurt him to the core, times that he wouldn't be able to deal with. He needed to be strong. He needed to be the leader of his team and he needed to lead by example.

When he arrived, he almost ran into Tosh, who was watching out for him in the waiting room. As he skidded to a stop, he looked down at the woman, her face sombre and pale. His heart leapt again painfully and he gripped her arms, eyes staring intently into hers.

"Where is he, Toshiko?" He asked quietly. She pointed toward the stairs. He smiled briefly – a tight, false expression - and pulled her into a hug before guiding her over to the doors and letting her lead him upstairs.

Each time they passed a window, Jack caught snatches of music from outside - from an open air concert down the street, open car windows, people humming as they walked. It all reminded him of how this shouldn't have happened – how life should be continuing in that flawless pattern that they lived through day after day. Jack sighed heavily and pushed the thoughts from his mind.

He went back to the nothing. The nothing was safer to have in his mind as they navigated the staircase, passing numerous doors with clinical descriptions and numbers on them. He could feel himself on the edge of breaking down, but the sight of Tosh - distraught and grief-struck - made him cling on. This was what he was used to, being the survivor.

They eventually got to the fifth floor and Jack gripped Tosh's shaking hand as they stepped through the doors. Walking through the silent corridors to the operating theatres, Jack felt his muscles tense and a chill run down his spine. He hated hospitals normally, but being where they cut people open just disturbed him – especially as Ianto was behind one of those cold, sterilised doors.

At least, he hoped that was where Ianto was.

"Talk to me, Owen." Jack said firmly as they approached the waiting area with his two other team members in it. The medic was sitting with his arm around Gwen, who was crying silently. Owen shot a look at Tosh and the woman nodded, taking his place and gripping Gwen's hand for mutual support.

"It's not good." Owen said quietly as they walked through the glass doors and back out into the corridor. "They had to shock him twice and he had sluggish reflexes. Luckily, the bullet missed his aorta, but it nicked one of the renal veins and lacerated his liver. They've got to fix the damage then do exploratory surgery to assess the rest."

"But he'll pull through?" Jack asked harshly, his face serious, knowing that the expression on Owen's meant that there was more.

"He was down for almost ten minutes the last time, Jack. Ten minutes without oxygen." Owen watched Jack for a reaction or a rpely, but Jack's ears were already buzzing, ringing hollowly. He knew what was coming next. "There was swelling to his brain… They can't say with any certainty that he'll wake up again."

Jack slumped backwards and hit the wall with a dull thumb, his knees giving out and his body sliding down so he was crouched on the floor. He wrapped his hands around the back of his head and he closed his eyes, concentrating on not crying, on not screaming and yelling at how unfair this entire situation was. He simply breathed. As painful and sickening as it was, he kept breathing.

Owen came and sat down next to him, legs sticking straight out as he sighed.

"We've seen so much death, Owen. I've seen so many bodies, but this… _This_ is worse than everything." Jack whispered, the shock evident in his tone. Owen reached out and patted his shoulder in an uncharacteristic show of support.

"I'll give you that one, Jack." He said sombrely. "But… as the boss, you're his next-"

"Don't." Jack murmured, horrified and angry tears starting to fall as he realised just what Owen was about to say. He was right, of course. In the contract each employee signed, they made him their legal next of kin, should anything happen. The moment they signed up, they signed over their entire lives.

Ianto had no remaining family. He'd never had a father and his mother had passed away a couple of years before. No brothers or sisters and no cousins, no aunts or uncles to be there for him. All Ianto had in the world was Jack and the others. Jack couldn't bring himself to speak again and Owen didn't have any desire to make him. For once, both men were glad of the silence.

They sat like that for a very long time, hours in fact. Occasionally, a nurse would come over to make sure the four of them were alright and another family joined them a few hours later, though the faces weren't nearly distraught as the Torchwood teams'.

At some point, Owen got up and got them all cups of tea, deciding it was best to avoid coffee whilst Ianto's fate was still unknown - it would hurt them all too much and Gwen had only just managed to stop crying. Jack sat and listened intently to the sounds around him, tuning out the breathing from the people nearest him and listening for anything through the sterile doors, knowing before he tried that there would be nothing audible to him. He turned his attention to what was going on outside the walls instead.

There was the sound of the wind, seeing as they were so high up, and the heavy, rushing sounds of lorries and cars, the occasional babbling of laughter as people walked past - even the sound of an aeroplane overheard.

The world continued to turn. The world continued as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had changed. It was like an omen to Jack, one that snickered and sneered and laughed at him for ever letting Ianto into his life. The possibility of this being the end - at the hands of John no less - made Jack want to scream and rage his way into oblivion.

*

After eleven hours of tense and nervous waiting, a surgeon walked through the doors opposite them. Jack looked up sharply and Tosh shook Owen awake, who'd fallen asleep with his head on Gwen's lap, exhausted form the day's events. Together, they walked over and Tosh helped Jack to his feet. They faced the surgeon as a team, but none of them wanted him to speak.

"We've repaired all the damage." He said slowly, carefully applying his training so as not to get their hopes up. Jack almost laughed at the façade, but nodded bitterly instead. "We had a few scares and his heart stopped again. We needed to shock him back and give him a lot of blood, but he pulled through and he's now in the surgical ICU."

He sighed heavily and looked at Jack, who was obviously the leader of the group. "He's still heavily sedated, so we won't be able to test his brain function for another few hours. I'm sorry."

"Can we see him?" Gwen asked gently, her hand gripping onto the sleeve of Jack's coat. The doctor nodded gently and guided them through the doors and along to new area of the department to the ICU. Tentatively, Gwen stepped through, holding Owen's hand, his other arm around Tosh's shoulders. Jack hesitated.

"What's the likelihood of him waking up as his old self?" He asked quietly, folding his arms and looking through the glass as his team approached a curtained off area.

"I'm sorry, Mr…?" He began. but realised he didn't know the man's name.

"Harkness. Captain Jack Harkness." He said with a hint of self mockery in his voice. All those times he'd introduced himself with a grin and a wink and now… _Now_ he was being serious.

"Well, Mr. Harkness, I really can't speculate until we've done more tests." He smiled apologetically and Jack's nodded. "I'll get a nurse to bring you something clean to change into."

"Thank you." Jack said with genuine appreciation.

_Lets just hope I can thank you for more than a change of clothes_, he thought as he glimpsed the end of a hospital bed through a gap in the curtains surrounding it, his heart tightening painfully.


	3. Chapter 3

Thatnkyou again for your comments and I'm sorry I didn't post last night! I was out at my friend's playing Little Big Planet (goregous game, can't wait to have a proper go!) and then the cinema, seeing Valkyrie (awesome film). I hope you like this chapter!!

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Chapter 3

_**I hear the sound of the world where we played  
And the far too simple beauty  
Of the promises we made**_

_"He looks so small…" A voice came through the darkness - a familiar, female voice, though he couldn't put a name to it. It was too hard to think, too tiring. He felt like there were bridges missing all over the place, there were things he knew and connections to be made, but he couldn't get to them, he couldn't find them. It was all far too tiring. _

"_All of this because of some maniac wanting to get to Jack." Another voice hissed, thick with tears and anger. He had the vague image of a small woman with large eyes and soft, brown skin. Japanese, maybe? He didn't know, all he could remember was that he seemed to like this woman. She was nice to him. _

"_The poor sod…" A third voice muttered sympathetically, a male voice that he got the impression was being uncharacteristically protective of him. He felt a smile try to emerge, but once again, it was too much effort and the emotion ebbed away. __Instead, he just lay there and let the darkness close in on him again, pressing in on him on all sides comfortingly._

_Just before he drifted away completely, he realised that there was a voice missing, there was someone not there… but he didn't have the energy to think about it further_ …

"What?" A strange voice yelped loudly in surprise.

Ianto found himself lying curled up on the floor of somewhere, on what seemed to be grating. He kept his eyes screwed closed and thought, _if this is the afterlife, I want a refund_. He heard loud, fast footsteps and was vaguely aware of someone standing by him.

"What?!"

He frowned at the incredulity in the man's voice and blinked his eyes open, groaning as he saw someone staring at him like he was some sort of specimen in a jar. He frowned and pushed himself up into a sitting position, rubbing his head as the beginnings of a migraine started to throb in his temples.

"Where's Jack?" He asked groggily, closing his eyes again and ducking his head between his knees as the strange surroundings started to spin.

"What?" The man said again, this time more alarmed than before and sounding completely confused.

"Will you please stop saying that?" Ianto snapped, looking up at him with a glare.

"Only if you tell me how you got on board my ship." He said stubbornly, crouching down next to Ianto and roughly pushing his head up, looking into his eyes. Ianto flinched away from the hands and frowned again.

"I'm supposed to be dead, why am I on a ship?" Ianto asked, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable. He looked up and saw a large column running through the middle of the room, just like back at the Hub. This column, however, was see through with more tubes inside, glowing a light turquoise colour. It seemed to be humming in approval.

With a lurch of fear, he turned his face to the stranger imploringly. "Where am I?"

"I told you, you're on my ship." The man spoke carefully, as if worried about Ianto's mental state. The young man just stayed silent and looked down at his hands for a long time. The silence stretched out as Ianto tried to digest something that he couldn't begin to understand. He waited for his mind to stop spinning before bringing himself to speak again.

"Please, I want to go home…" He whispered, glancing up at the stranger.

"Sorry, I don't know where home is." The man said seriously, looking at him in concern, clasping his hands together and watching him over the top of his glasses.

"Cardiff, Wales… Shit… Cardiff, Wales on Earth." Ianto muttered, wide eyed as his memory sluggishly brought back memories of Jack telling him about the TARDIS. Why the hell was he on the _TARDIS_? "Twenty first century Cardiff. Please, can you take me back?"

The man he now recognised as the Doctor stood up and went to a console, glancing back at him sitting huddled on the floor every so often. He seemed to be running some sort of scan, but his frown was deepening every second and the humming from the machine changed pitch, as if in alarm or shock.

"I'm sorry, but you don't exist." The Doctor said matter-of-factly with another frown, turning to look at Ianto in curious speculation.

"How…?" Ianto frowned aw well, looking away. He could vaguely remember a loud shot and a pain rippling through his stomach, making him fall to the floor. Then Jack was there, next to him muttering something, picking him up. Now he was in the hospital, everything was black and full of pain and all he wanted was for Jack to hold his hand and tell him he'd be okay.

Then he'd heard their voices; Gwen, Tosh and Owen, but not Jack. Jack hadn't been there. Jack's voice wasn't in his head - w_hy wasn't Jack there?_ He'd given up and let the darkness take him, but a different kind of darkness, like pulling him away for some trip, like he'd go back eventually, but he was going to go somewhere else first, do something new.

Then he'd woken up.

"Hey, it's alright… Just tell me your name, we'll try to sort this out." The Doctor was at his side again, smiling kindly with his hand squeezing Ianto's shoulder gently.

"Jones… Ianto Jones." He muttered, gritting his teeth against the slight burn of tears. _What is it with me and Jack and other love interests?_ He thought with an exasperated sigh as he breathed out jaggedly_. At least this one isn't intent on ripping us apart. Hopefully quiet the opposite_, he managed to calm himself enough to rub his eyes hard and look back at the Doctor with a small smile.

"The infamous Mr. Jones… we meet at last." The Doctor grinned at him and laughed at the confusion on his face. "He didn't tell you? Oh that is so like him."

"Tell me what?" Ianto asked cautiously as the Doctor sat back and leaned against the console with a purr from the machine.

"He talked about you almost non-stop on our way home." The Doctor said with a smile. Ianto didn't return it though, just remembered the look on Jack's face when he first found out that he was with Tom. Ianto flinched and closed his eyes in guilt.

'_…Up the pain medication… discomfort…'_ something whispered in his head. His eyes snapped open and he looked around wildly.

"Did you hear that?" Ianto asked urgently, the Doctor just frowned again.

"Hear what?" He asked cautiously.

_'… Bruised … too pale… where's Jack?…'_ Ianto flinched again as he heard Owen's voice. His chest was tight with homesickness and he just wanted to open his eyes and have a good snark at them all, to show them he was okay.

He wanted to hear Jack laughing at him for being obsessive over his coffee machine, begging him not to put him on decaf for messing with the archives. He wanted to feel Jack's arms around him and to tell him it was all going to be okay and that it wasn't his fault because he knew Jack would be blaming himself. He wanted to tell him that he was going to stick to his promise, he wasn't going to leave, he wasn't going _anywhere_.

"Someone speaking - someone said something… Like they were speaking through water…" Ianto trailed off, suddenly feeling extremely stupid. In contrast, the Doctor's face lit up and he jumped up.

"Oh, yes! Genius." He said absently as he started fiddling on of his consoles, a manic grin on his face. Ianto ignored him after a moment and concentrated on trying to hear the person again.

'… _Jack… We'll give you some room…'_ Ianto's heart picked up and he bit his lip as he felt a jolt in his right hand and the voices and sounds started to fade away again. _'…Ianto? Oh God, open… eyes… sorry… so sorry…'_ and he was gone. The threatening tears managed to fall this time and his arms physically ached from the loneliness that overwhelmed him.

"You are something special, Mr. Jones." The Doctor said with a grin as he swung round the side of the console to smile at him.

"Do you know what's happened?" Ianto asked in concern, scrubbing at his eyes again.

"Yes, yes I do, and do you know why? Because I'm a genius, Mr. Jones!" He laughed and winked as Ianto opened his mouth to ask another question, cutting him off before he could speak. "And because I'm a genius, I can get you home."

"So what's happened to me?" Ianto asked quietly, hope blossoming weakly in his chest. It was all he had at the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

GAH! My fic - 10 Things Jack Harkness Learnt About Ianto Jones - won best Listfic in the Children of Time Awards! I'm idiotically happy about it, so thankyou to anyone who voted :D

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Chapter 4

_**If you ever need holding  
Call my name, I'll be there  
If you ever need holding  
And no holding back, I'll see you through  
Sky blue and black**_

Jack had been standing outside the doors to the ICU for over half an hour when Gwen came out and pulled him stubbornly into the room. He'd changed into a blue, surgical scrub top and had washed his hands and arms completely of the blood.

He still felt like he was wading through it though. It was even worse the closer he got. He could almost taste the metallic tang on the back of his tongue

"Gwen…" He muttered hesitantly as she pulled him nearer to the hospital bed.

"Jack, You have to. You don't have a choice." She said darkly, pushing him towards the curtains and making him step through. Jack swallowed hard and tried to look anywhere but the bed. If he didn't see Ianto, then this wasn't real, he was just dreaming.

"Jack… We'll go- we'll give you some room." Tosh said quietly, standing up from where she'd been seated next to the bed and walking over to him, hugging him briefly before following Gwen outside of the cubicle. Owen stood up as well and nodded mutely to him, closing the small gap in the curtains as he left.

With shaking hands, Jack took the seat Tosh had been sitting in and leaned forwards a little, his hand hovering over one of Ianto's, lying cold and pale on the bed sheets. It was one of the only decent sized areas of skin that wasn't covered in monitors or hooked up to IVs.

_If I don't touch him, then none of this is real. If I don't look at his face, I can wake up and he'll be humming the shower like he normally does…_ Jack thought in a futile attempt to reverse the past day. He felt tears threatening as he placed his hand down onto the young man's, shifting his grip almost instantly as he felt a trace of body heat remaining. He clung to it and his heart held its hope of the possibility that Ianto was just sleeping, that he'd wake up soon.

"Ianto?" Jack whispered, still unable to look at his face. With sheer force of will, he managed to forced his gaze from the pattern on the bedspread to the pale, familiar face. He took in Ianto's features, so peaceful and calm, and tried not to notice the all too obvious changes. His skin was too pale, his lips a little blue, his eyes ringed with purple, bruise like marks, the scars on his cheek standing out. That was all he need for the tears to start falling. "Oh God, open your eyes, Ianto… please, just open them…"

He started to cry properly then, sobbing as he curled in on himself, instinctively leaning his head on the hand in his own as he screwed his eyes up. "I'm sorry, Ianto… This is all my fault, I'm so, _so_ sorry…"

He thought he heard Ianto's heart rate pick up, his pulse beat that little bit harder, but when he looked up at Ianto's face again, it was still the smooth, peaceful expression it had been a few moments ago. He sighed heavily, the breath jagged again from tears and he gripped Ianto's hand in his and ran his thumbs over it gently.

"You said you weren't going anywhere, Ianto… So you can't go, see? You can't leave me yet." He whispered gently, bringing Ianto's hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the palm. "I was going to take you for dinner tonight, I was going to take you out and treat you properly, as a 'thank you'. You've been so much more than I've deserved for the past few days…"

He swallowed hard, forcing the tears to stop. His lips pressed together in a solem line that matched the weariness in his eyes as he reached up gently to stroke Ianto's cheek with the back of his hand. His heart jumped painful at the feverish touch of Ianto's skin, contrary to his deathly colour. "Why did he have to come, Ianto? Why couldn't he have just left us alone? I should've gotten rid of him on my own, you shouldn't have been there. I was stupid and childish but I needed you. I needed you there with me, Ianto. I always need you there, so you can't go…"

He leaned his head on Ianto's hand again and started to cry again silently. He didn't think he could stand this for much longer. The waiting, the watching, the pain and the guilt. He hated feeling so attached to one person. He hated feeling so lost and vulnerable.

He just wanted it all to be back to normal, he wanted his lover and his friend back. He _needed_ him back.

*

"It's simple. You're a physical manifestation of the psyche, or your soul." The Doctor was talking fast and with excitement as he manoeuvred Ianto around the TARDIS, sitting him down and hooking him up to machines of all kinds, wires and tubes running in and out of him like a miniature highway.

"How is that different to what I should be?" Ianto asked, cautiously picking at a particularly interesting looking device.

"The human being in comprised of the mind, soul and body. You, from what I'm guessing, are the majority of the mind and the soul, enough to create a physical being that is separate from your body, which is back in twenty first century Cardiff." The Doctor was standing in front of him and explaining with hand gestures. "Your body is filled with organs and processes that keep it alive, and your mind controls that. Technically, you don't need to breathe-"

"Really?" Ianto said curiously, tempted to try the theory out.

"Yes, you probably never have to take another breath again, but I wouldn't risk it." He warned. "You could easily try for so long for so hard that the rest of you mind catches on and shuts your lungs down in your body. Not only would you scare Jack to yet-another-death, you'd cause more damage to your body which would probably be permanent."

Ianto nodded slowly and made sure he kept his breathing level. "Okay, so how do you get me back?"

"Well, there's still a bond between the two parts of your mind and soul." The Doctor was back at his consoles, flicking switches, turning dials and pressing buttons. "All we have to do is track the link, apply a suitable amount of energy straight to your 'brain' and you should be pulled back and meld together with the rest of yourself."

"How did I end up here though?" Ianto asked calmly, deciding that seeing as the Doctor was a genius and his only hope at getting back home, he should just trust him and nod along.

"That's a total mystery. Most likely because the TARDIS has a highly telepathic field and it drew you here due to the amount of energy you needed to form a physical structure." The Doctor shrugged and smiled placidly at him.

"As you do." Ianto muttered dryly. As much as he found the Doctor companionable and friendly, the moment the Doctor had hooked him up to the TARDIS – which he'd explained was a living creature who, unsurprisingly, liked him and thought Jack had good taste in men – he'd been haunted by whispers and murmurs of people around him, predominantly Jack, begging and bargaining and sobbing. It had broken his heart and made him increasingly more desperate to go back.

"Right, lets give this a go, okay?" The Doctor grinned and grabbed hold of the lever. "This might tingle a bit, hold on."

"Okay…" Ianto said apprehensively, hearing the lever slam down and a yell of _'Ianto?'_ almost immediately. He felt a jolt of pain rip through his stomach and the feeling of someone gripping his hand and everything went dark, murky as it had been before.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, so this part is a tad bit angsty, but I felt it was needed - given the situation!

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Chapter 5

_**Where the touch of the lover ends  
And the soul of the friend begins  
There's a need to be separate and a need to be one  
And a struggle neither wins  
**_

_Time passes so slowly when bad news looms…_ Jack mused silently, feeling strangely fatalistic, his tears long since dried on his face as he leant an elbow on the bed next to Ianto and rest his head in his hand so he could watch the unmoving form with ease.

The doctors had come to check his brain function about a half hour earlier and they'd told him that, whilst there was still meaningful activity there – whilst he was still recognising sound and touch – there wasn't much else happening.

Jack sighed heavily at the memory of their faces and had decided then that as long as there was hope, there was a way to bring Ianto back to him. _If only you'd open your eyes… If you'd just open your eyes, Ianto…_ Jack thought wistfully, running his fingers over the pale cheek again. Once more, he let his hand drop and clutched Ianto's in his, pressing his lips desperately to the now warm skin for reassurance.

That was when something changed.

This time, as Jack brought his hand back to Ianto's and squeezed it lightly, it squeezed back, gripping him with desperation.

"Ianto?" Jack spoke in a harsh, shocked voice. "Ianto?"

His yell brought Owen running and the medic ripped the curtains back and took in the sight of Ianto's white knuckles, his expression of pain and his racing heart rate. Owen quickly injected a new dose of morphine and his heart rate settled at a normal rhythm and his face smoothed out a little. His hand remained tight around Jack's.

*

A tide of warmth soothed away the majority of the pain in his stomach, but he kept his vice like grip on the familiar hands, knowing somehow that it was keeping him there, keeping him in the darkness. _I don't want to be here anymore_, he growled at the blackness, _I want to be awake, I want to be with Jack, let me GO_!

But no matter how hard he pushed at the confines, he couldn't get all the way through, he could partly reach himself, he could feel the cold air on his skin and the warmth of Jack's fingers under his and he could hear them talking, though it still sounded as if it was through water.

"Owen, what's going on?" Jack asked seriously, Ianto smiling inwardly at the authoritative tone in his voice. Somehow, that must've come through, his lips or cheek must've twitched because he heard the grin in Jack's voice as he carried on. "What do you mean 'he's conscious'? He clearly isn't."

"I don't know, these readings keep flickering between what he was an hour ago and what he would be like conscious, almost getting to the right level but slipping back away." Owen was frowning, Ianto could hear it. Owen only frowned when he was truly confused or something terrible was happening.

With renewed effort, he tried to pushed through the barrier and reach out to laugh at Owen, to make some snide remark, to tease him about him incompetence, anything. _Come on, please… Just let me go back to them, just let me tell them I'm okay, please!_ Ianto begged, desperately trying to push through the blackness, to shake himself free.

With a snarl of annoyance, he pushed at it with all the energy he could muster and he found himself in a bright hospital room, surround by his team – all four of them were there, standing over him as he blinked a couple of times before his lids became too heavy.

"Finally…" He murmured with a smile, hearing Jack's laugh of triumph and Gwen's gasp. He could almost hear Tosh's supportive smile and Owen's glower. All too soon though, only seconds later, his energy started to sap away, dragging him back into the darkness, back to the Doctor and the TARDIS.

With everything he could muster, he squeezed Jack's hand once more before he lost all awareness of his body and the hospital room.

*

"Finally…" Ianto murmured, his voice slurring a little on the word as if he had no energy left. Jack couldn't help but laugh in relief as he heard his voice and glimpsed the blue eyes as his eyelids fluttered a couple of times.

But with one more squeeze to his hand, Ianto slipped away, back into the state he'd been for the past twelve hours. Jack felt his heart squeeze once more, painfully reminding him that Ianto was still not there, still gone, still somewhere else_. I want you back here, Ianto… please, just come back to me…_ he begged silently, taking a deep breath and turning back to Owen.

"He's still there, Owen." Jack said with a determined glint in his eye. "He's still there somewhere and we have to work out how to get him back."

*

"Send me back!" Ianto snarled at the Doctor as he woke up in the TARDIS with a spike of pain through his head. "You have to send me back, now!"

"Ianto, calm down. I can't." The Doctor was in front of him as soon as he saw Ianto's eyes glaze over slightly, catching him as he slumped forwards.

"What do you mean?" Ianto asked weakly, desperately trying to keep his eyes open.

"The amount of energy I used was huge and it still didn't quite get you there, correct?" The Doctor looked him closely over, making sure he was all in one piece. Ianto nodded slightly and he sighed. "Well, I'm estimating that it'll need at least double the amount to get you all the way back permanently. I need to try and source it before we try again - and you need to rest."

"No, I don't…" Ianto muttered as he pushed the Doctor away and pulled himself to his feet. He took one step before his knees buckled and the Doctor grabbed him under the arms and supported him through the TARDIS main console room to one of the corridors.

"Come with me… You need to sleep, and I can't think of anywhere better for you that Jack's old bedroom." The Doctor murmured kindly, aware of how much security being remotely closer to Jack would bring him.

They walked slowly to a small bedroom filled with a large double bed, a chest of drawers and a large armchair with a small table next to it, stacked up with books and devices that Ianto didn't recognise. The Doctor eased him onto the bed and smiled at him once more.

"Get some rest, heal the connection and we'll try again when you're fully better." Ianto nodded quietly and took a deep breath. "Try to sleep… I don't know whether it'll happen, but it might help strengthen the bond between your two parts. At this stage, we can't discount anything."

Ianto nodded and thanked him before watching the Doctor leave the room and close the door. It was then that he curled up in the duvet that smelt so like Jack and cried, wishing with his entire being that he could be back at home, that he could stop struggling, for once, to hold his life together.


	6. Chapter 6

Yaay, this chapter's a good'un I think... It really links back to the first installment of the series (Just Like a Man) - I hope youy enjoy it :D Thanks for all the supportive comments, guys!

* * *

Chapter 6

_**Where you gave me the world I was in  
And a place I could make a stand  
I could never see how you doubted me  
When I let go of your hand**_

_"Ianto, you could have died! What the hell were you thinking?" Jack snarled at him, his hands gripping the front of the young man's jacket as he slammed him back against his office door. Ianto just looked Jack coolly in the eye and carefully uncurled Jack's fists. _

"_I was doing my job." He said curtly. "Don't you dare tell me to stop it."_

"_Why not, why can't I tell you to stop it?" Jack spat angrily, but Ianto just glared at him._

"_Because this is my job!" Ianto yelled, his endless calm snapping. Jack flinched away from it in shock. "Because this is my job, Jack. You know exactly what it entails and if you don't like that, then you need to retcon the last three years of my life and leave me in the middle of Mongolia. As long as we're together, you're going to be dealing with this day after day. I'm a grown man and I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions and evaluations in a situation like today."_

"_Well then maybe we shouldn't be together." Jack snapped. Ianto froze in place and bit on his lip for a moment before nodding slowly. _

"_If that's what you want, Jack, I won't waste your time any longer." Ianto said politely, leaving the office and Jack behind, waiting until he was out of the Tourist Office and heading across the plass before he let himself start crying_ …

Ianto woke with a jerk and a gasp, the tears he was dreaming of on his cheeks and soaked into the pillow. His heart was in his throat and his stomach was throbbing, right where the bullet would've entered him.

It had been several days after Christmas, after John's death and Diane's disappearance. Jack had felt the losses deeply, having identified with the three people stuck out of their own time. His temperamental emotional state had snapped once and for all on a complicated recon mission and their already precarious relationship had snapped in two under the strain.

He swallowed hard and hugged one of the pillows closer to him, breathing in the scent and concentrating on pushing the memory of Jack's pained expression away.

Within minutes, he was drifting back into the state where his mind was free. It seemed that without the confines of his real body, he could relive memories, not just remember vague flickers of them. These weren't dreams, they were reality. Or at least, they had been reality.

He'd already relived losing Jack and crying into his coat, then flashing straight to the day where he emerged from the Vaults and kissed him. It had healed the shattered pieces of his heart and given him hope to go on. Even when Jack had disappeared, he thought he'd be okay, despite all the cheating and the heartache.

He didn't like those memories – they were too strong, too painful and too hard to forget. Instead, he concentrated on others, ones where Jack had shown genuine affection and even love. Those rare occasions before he'd disappeared with the Doctor…

"_Ianto, you're a mess." Jack stated harshly, frowning at him with his hands on his hips, surveying the scene. _

"_Sorry, Jack. I just needed to rest for a moment, I was going to clean it up in a minute." Ianto glanced guiltily around his flat, at the dirty plates and the newspapers, the dirty clothes strewn across the floor as he'd dug through the dirty linen to find his keys. He hadn't had the energy to clean up afterwards. _

"_Ianto, you're a mess. You. Yourself, as a human being." Jack sighed in exasperation and went over to where Ianto was attempting to stuff the washing back in the basket. He eased him up with little resistance from the young man and guided him through to his bedroom, sighing again at the sight of the barely neat bedclothes. The fact that the duvet wasn't smoothed down showed how much pain Ianto was in._

"_Jack, please. I need to clean up…" Jack cut him off and wrapped his arms around the young man, kissing him gently, quieting his protest as he lay them down on the covers and the young man let out a shuddering breath and a sigh, curling into Jack's body instinctively. _

"_You're on leave so you can heal, Ianto." Jack chastised, stroking the back of his neck soothingly. "You were amazing in the Beacons, you stood up to that guy and you saved Tosh… I'm so proud of you, Ianto."_

_Ianto smiled to himself and closed his eyes, gripping onto the front of Jack's shirt as the other man started to hum something to him. He realised he'd finally done it, he'd finally become a member of the team – an independent, useful member of Torchwood Three, and Jack had helped him do it, even if he'd had reservations about taking him on the trip. _

_He slowly felt his muscles relax and he was sleeping in a world filled with what he seemed to remember was Glen Miller_…

This time, the stabbing pain in his stomach woke him, shooting through his abdomen from the front to the back, though only a small portion of the strength of the pain the original bullet caused. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as the pain started to fade into the background as a new memory rose unbidden in his mind's eye…

"_Are you asking me out on a date?" Ianto's heart was in his throat as he turned slowly to look at Jack, unable to quite believe what he was hearing. It was so unlike the Jack he knew… but then again, it was painfully obvious that the man had changed significantly whilst he'd been away._

"_Sure…" Jack said, folding his arms in the way he did when he wanted to feign confidence. Ianto suspected it was when his heart rate accelerated and he had some notion that folding his arms would slow it back down, press it back into a normal rhythm. "You interested?"_

_Ianto stared at the coffee machine in front of him, his ears ringing with the words. He was frowning, he could tell, and his hands had stopped working. Had Jack really just asked him out on a date? And after everything they'd been through, why was he still screaming 'yes!' in his head? He had Tom after all…_

_Yes, he had safe, careful Tom who wouldn't hurt him in the way Jack had so callously done in the past. But maybe, when Tom had gone back to London, maybe he could give Jack another chance… Maybe he would've healed enough by then to let him prove himself as he so obviously wanted to do. Ianto mentally shook himself and reminded himself that it would never work. This was Jack they were talking about._

"_Not at the moment, Jack." He said quietly, his hands kick-starting back into life. He realised then that he hadn't said a definite 'no'. Maybe his subconscious was trying to tell him something. He looked away from Jack guiltily, but not in time to avoid seeing the pain and sadness on the other man's face. _

"_I've got to go get an update on the Rift side of my absence from Tosh. Then I'll make a start on my paperwork… I'll call you in if I need you." Jack said quickly, forcing a smile that Ianto saw through in an instant as he hurried away. _You fool_, Ianto scolded himself before pushing the thought away and starting the process of blocking Jack out of his memories once more. _

_Somehow, he knew then that it wasn't going to happen. Jack was never going to be a separate person to him again, they'd always have that connection and he wouldn't be able to deny it for long – and a surprising amount of his heart and head was willing him to strengthen that bond_…

"Jack!" He woke up with a jolt, the pain in his stomach almost as intense as it had been the night it happened. There were tears on his face and an aching in his bones as he clung to the pillow, a poor replacement for his lover, with his teeth gritted in frustrated agony.


	7. Chapter 7

Whoop, back from a weekend of practicing my saxophone almost non stop. Reasonably fun, but I'm g;ad to be hme. I'm pretty busy this week, but I'll try to get a chapter up midweek at the latest! Thanks for reading :D

* * *

Chapter 7

_**Yeah, and I was much younger then  
And I must have thought that I would know  
If things were going to end**_

Shortly after Ianto's bout of consciousness, Jack and Owen had noted elevated brain activity in him. At first, it was only a small increase, but over the following hours, it had got steadily higher, wavering between the base level and almost fully conscious.

For once, Jack was exceedingly glad that he didn't need sleep, for he could watch over Ianto in those times. He'd soon learnt that whilst the young man wasn't fully present in the room, he could feel the pain his wound caused him. A couple of times, his grip had tightened just that little bit more and the muscles in his face shifted slightly into a grimace and Jack would call a doctor in.

For now though, he was sleeping reasonably peacefully. His heart rate was a little stronger and his breathing had picked up as well, echoing the latest test that said he was regaining control of his body. Of course, when asked, the doctors all had no idea how it could possibly be happening - yet miraculously, it was.

Once again, Jack was alone with Ianto, only the beeping of the monitors to keep him company. It had been almost a day since he'd been brought out of surgery now and Jack was starting to feel just a little rough around the edges. Despite Gwen's objections, he refused to leave Ianto alone at night. They could barely drag him away to stretch his legs for five minutes.

"I tell you, when I first found out they were together, I never thought there was this amount of devotion." Tosh murmured over a cup of coffee at the coffee shop on the corner of the street outside.

"It makes me feel kind of silly." Gwen admitted, taking a sip of her own drink. it wasn't as good as Ianto's, but it would do. "All those times when I thought it was just a thing they did and it was so much more."

"To be fair, they weren't serious until Jack came home." Owen said pointedly, surprising both women. "Oh, come on! You must've noticed the way he couldn't stand the sight of Tom! Don't you remember all those trips he took alone, all those days he spent out of the Hub?"

"You're right." Tosh said with a nod, the three of them lapsing into silence as they continued to work their ways through their coffees.

"I never thought it would end like this for them though." Gwen said finally, sighing as she looked into the bottom of her mug. Whilst they all prayed and hoped that Ianto was going to recover, the doctors were doing their best to make sure they prepared for the worst. Only Jack refused to see the possibility that he wouldn't bounce back.

"It's not over, Gwen. Don't think like that." Tosh said reprovingly, flinching at her words. Gwen grimaced and apologised.

"If there's one thing that working in a hospital has taught me, it's that on rare occasions, positive thinking actually does work." He said sagely to Gwen. Then he shook his head and realised what he'd said, clearing his throat and scowling a little. "Of course, that's only on very, very rare occasions… But for tea-boy's sake, he better be able to make me a cup of coffee soon!"

He walked off then and Tosh and Gwen looked sideways at each other, laughing together at Owen. No matter how much he tried to hide it, he was rather attached to Ianto, in a brotherly kind of way. They fought and bickered almost every waking minute, but they'd both die to save each other - that much was obvious.

*

Back in the hospital, Jack was alone with Ianto, watching the young man absently, his fingers running a pattern across the back of his pale, cool hand.

"Ianto Jones… I don't think I've thought as hard or as much about anything since the moment I realised I loved you." Jack murmured, watching Ianto with a wistful expression on his face. "I've decided that you're going to get better. If you don't… well, I'll think of something, but there'll be a punishment...

"How the hell do you do this to me, Ianto? Just facing the possibility of losing you – losing you now, before I could say goodbye – has me ready to just shut down… I don't know how I'd carry on without you, Ianto."

"_You'd survive… You always do…_" The voice was faint, a low murmur that he felt as much as he heard, but Jack looked up in shock to see Ianto's mouth had fallen open just a little. Jack felt himself crying again, hot, angry tears sliding across his cheeks in now well worn trails. Was imaginging Ianto's voice some new kind of torture? Or was he actually beginning to go mad?

He leaned up to press a soft, gentle kiss to Ianto's lips, his heart cracking that little bit further when they remained unresponsive.

"I would've before I met you, Ianto. I would've been able to go on… But I was so much more naïve then." Jack continued to cry, his voice choked with tears. "I've learnt so much with you, you've… I just need you to open your eyes…"

*

'…_just need you… open your eyes…' _

Ianto's eyelids snapped open and he found himself staring at the small room in the TARDIS once more. He swore he'd been back in his body, he'd been back there and he'd heard Jack fall apart, felt his lips on his own once more, as he started to slip away.

If anything, that just made him more determined to get back to him, to get back to Jack and show him just how alive he was.

He gritted his teeth against the threatening tears, refusing to let himself being to cry again, and got up from the bed, taking one last moment to remember Jack's scent before leaving the room and heading down the corridor, back to the main console room. The Doctor was sitting down on the chairs to one side and looking at the screen, worrying at his lip as he sat back with his hands behind his head.

"What's wrong?" Ianto asked quietly as he approached.

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" He replied defensively, looking over at Ianto with a look of interrogation in his eyes. Ianto just smiled.

"Jack does the same thing." Ianto took the seat next to the Doctor and looked at the screen he'd been staring at. The Doctor sighed and patted his shoulder sympathetically. He could see exactly why Jack was so taken with the young man now. "So?"

"Well, I've been trying to work out what caused this whole detachment, I'm trying to figure out how being shot could make you separate like that…" The Doctor frowned again. "Where did you say this guy was from?"

"Fifty first century, he was one of Jack's old 'colleagues'." Ianto said dully, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his chest at the memory.

"Fifty first century… fifty first…" The Doctor's eyes widened and he grinned. "I think I've got a plan."

He jumped up and headed off down the corridor at a run. Ianto watched him go then looked around the large, humming room. After a few moments, the humming changed pitch again and he looked at the central column with a slight frown.

"This isn't the end, you know." Ianto muttered to it, the machinery humming its affirmative in return.


	8. Chapter 8

Good chapter, good chapter! I really like this one :D

On a side note, I'm making Torchwood Chess for my DT coursework! it's gonna be awesome :P

* * *

Chapter 8

_**And the heavens were rolling  
Like a wheel on a track  
And our sky was unfolding  
And it'll never fold back  
Sky blue and black**_

That day, the sky grew heavy with dark clouds - angry bruises on the horizons as rain fell unchecked over Cardiff, running in a translucent layer across the windows of the hospital ward. The sound of the rain pummelling the glass made Jack smile. Ianto loved the rain. He loved to watch and listen to it. Jack had lost track of the amount of times he'd had to pull him indoors before he froze to death.

Jack watched as Owen walked over to them, coming to check Ianto again. He'd been signed on as one of his doctors now and everyone acknowledged that he was the primary care giver.

"I bloody hate the rain…" Owen said with a dark look on his face as he pulled down the covers and lifted Ianto's gown. Seeing as this was going to be happening on a regular basis, Jack had insisted on Ianto wearing pyjama trousers as well, knowing that the young man would be mortified if Owen had a free show - even if he _was_ his doctor.

As most of the hospital staff thought Ianto would remain in his 'coma', they hadn't protested too much, something which Jack resented immediately.

"I don't know, it's kind of…" Jack trailed off in shock at the sight that greeted him. Owen too had frozen in horror as he turned to look at Ianto's torso.

The pale skin was a mass of thin blue and black bruises, bleeding out from two particular places like ink spills. One spread out from the bullet wound, the deep purple colour running out in blotchy tendrils. The second spread out from his heart, spreading from one side to the other, down to meet the first mass and up to the base of his neck and his shoulder.

Jack's heart had started beating double, blood rushing in his ears and curses running through his mind, wishing a slow and painful death on John Hart. He was the only person Jack could think to blame this on.

*

"Did you have to? Jack's going to go spare…" Ianto groaned at the sight of his 'torso'. Through scans, the Doctor had pinpointed the places on his 'body' where the link with his real body were strongest. There were only two left now.

"Come on, Ianto. Do you want to go home or not?" The Doctor said with a wry grin, raising an eyebrow in amusement at the sight of the spidery bruises spreading from the injections he was giving the young man.

He'd managed to create a solution that would strengthen the bonds even more and therefore make the use of energy even more efficient when he located a better source for their second try. The solution had to be injected into the most susceptible parts. Four had been located and there were two more left to do.

Ianto took a deep breath and nodded, closing his eyes and concentrating on the links in his chest and stomach as the Doctor came closer to him, another syringe in his hands. Even if this _was_ a simple manifestation of his psyche, it hurt like hell.

He did as the Doctor instructed and concentrated on imagining a rope like entity linking his soul to his body, ignoring the feeling of fear that the impending pain brought. He was just imagining his body in the hospital bed when he felt the needle pierce his temple, hearing the popping as it punctured his 'skull' and the Doctor injected straight into his brain.

He cried out in pain and he felt himself hurtle along the line, through the darkness.

*

"We need to run scans, Jack." Owen said half heartedly. "I need him back at the Hub to run scans on-"

He was interrupted by a sharp gasp and several jagged, pained breaths from Ianto's now animated body. Jack was staring at him in horror, Owen was just confused and Ianto looked plain livid.

"I'm going to… kill him…" He snarled, his voice trailing away as his body seemed to drain of energy as suddenly as it had been flooded with it. But another growl of pain and his back was arching off the bed, eyes screwed up in agony, head snapped back as if he'd been punched straight on.

"Shit…" He whispered as his body went limp and his brainwaves died back down, face smoothing out once more, fists unclenching and his heart monitor settling down from it's brief spell of erratic bleeping.

"What the _hell_ was that?" Owen asked angrily, looking at Jack in confusion. Jack didn't seem to know anymore than him, his face set in a mixture of confusion and loneliness that made Owen take pity on him. "He's not in any pain, not any more… Jack, don't worry."

Jack shot him a withering look and set about tidying Ianto up from his half slump off the bed, working with gentle hands and soft touches as he brushed his hair out of his eyes and frowned in confusion, his mind working at a hundred miles an hour to process possible implications of Ianto's little show.

*

"Ianto, come on, stay with me, wake up." The Doctor was gently encouraging him to wake up from where he'd slumped off the chair, landing in a pile on the floor. His head was killing him. Whereas the two injections to his torso had been reasonably bearable, the last two to his brain had been nearly intolerable.

Ianto couldn't summon up the energy to even open his eyes. He tried to talk, but it came out as nothing more than a blur of noise. He soon decided that it wasn't worth the effort. He heard the TARDIS purr sympathetically and the Doctor mutter.

"I know, I know… But Jack needs him, he needs to go home." There was silence and he heaved Ianto to his feet and hoisted him over his shoulder. _It's lucky_, Ianto thought smugly, _that I haven't been eating much since Jack left, I've lost a fair bit of weight_. "Shh! Jack can't come either, he has to stay in Cardiff… No, that's not why… Yes, I offered… Shh!"

The Doctor tutted and carried Ianto back through to the bedroom he'd slept in the night before. He was going to do his damnedest to keep this soul alive and healthy – it was the least he owed Jack. He removed the suit jacket, tie and shoes that Ianto was wearing and tucked him under the covers.

_A man after my own heart_, he thought with a grin as he realised that Ianto's soul's natural image was that of Ianto in a suit and tie. Next stop, find an energy source… hopefully.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't like this chapter as much as the others, but it's very useful in setting things up and recreating the atmosphere and stuff... so, I hope you like it! I may even post the next chapter tonight if I feel the need!

* * *

Chapter 9

_**And I'd have fought the world for you  
If I thought that you wanted me to  
Or put aside what was true or untrue  
If I'd known that's what you needed  
What you needed me to do**_Ianto didn't dream this time. He didn't dream, he didn't remember - he _heard_.

"Ianto…" Jack was whispering, sobbing his name repeatedly as he sat alone in the dark room. This time, his voice came from behind a curtain, not through water. It was muffled, but clearer - he could hear him properly.

"Ianto, please… I'm begging you, just wake up." He murmured, his voice thick with tears that Ianto knew he would only shed when he was alone. The others must've been called away. The Rift didn't take a break just because Ianto Jones got scattered across the universe.

How long had he been lying there? Long enough, he supposed. Long enough.

Jack's voice was harsh from lack of sleep and sustenance and he sounded more than a little groggy. It broke his heart to hear Jack cry, it tore him into pieces which only the feeling of Jack's arms around him could heal. Jack only cried when his world began to fall away from him.

"I was thinking, I could call the Doctor…" He murmured, a sudden spurt of hope in his voice. "I could call him and we could go back in time and we could stop you from going to the car park with us…"

Ianto's heart tightened as he realised what Jack was proposing and he desperately willed his lover to forget the notion completely.

"_No…_" Ianto managed to whisper at the sheer force of anger he felt at the fact that Jack was considering something as damaging as hanging history just to save him from this. Jack heard him but obviously didn't think he'd heard so much as imagined him.

"Yeah, you're right… he would've just shot someone else…shit, I was prepared for him to shoot one of the others over you!" He gasped and Ianto heard him murmur to himself, horrified. Ianto could feel tears on his own face at the sound and he desperately wished he could comfort his lover in some way.

_I'd do anything for you, Jack… Anything, please don't be sorry, please don't cry…_ he thought gently, pretending that he could say the words out loud and soothe him, if only to soothe himself.

"Ianto, I don't tell you how much you mean to me enough, I know I don't." Jack said softly, the tears gone from his voice again, leaving it rough and brusque. "I swear, if you come back to me, I would move mountains to make sure you knew how much I love you. Because I do, Ianto. I love you more than anyone or anything. If the Doctor could made me mortal again, I'd give you my entire life to making you happy. As it is, I'll be there as long as you want me to be, I'll never leave you. Never."

_I already knew, Jack… I already knew. Please, I can't stand you crying…_ Ianto felt like giving up, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Jack and return to the TARDIS. He was like a little boy peering out of a window that he couldn't climb through. He wanted so desperately to be on the other side of the glass, but he couldn't find a way to get there.

"Everything I've ever done to hurt you, all the lies and all the cheating… I would take it back in an instant. It was unbearable to see you happy with someone when I had no hold over you, no intimate connection at all…" He sighed heavily and kissed Ianto's hand gently again. "I can't believe you put up with all my crap for so long… I can't believe you took me back."

_Stop it, you idiot! Stop it, stop crying! Shut up, I'm not going to die, I'm not!_ Ianto cried, knowing for sure that he'd wake up with a damp pillow from the tears.

"Ianto, they want me to sign a DNR, in case you go into arrest again… I don't know what to do, Ianto. I can't see you go through any more and they say you're weakening, that your heart's not going to last for much longer - that it's been through too much." Jack was crying again, clutching his hand desperately, head bowed as he sobbed painfully once more. "I don't know what to do!"

Ianto felt a surge of anger and grief and it was just enough for him to push the window open.

"Don't you dare give up on me…" He murmured angrily, gripping Jack's hand with all his strength, forcing his eyes half open as Jack looked up and stared at him in shock. "Don't give up…"

Jack swallowed and nodded, his expression setting into one of determination as he gritted his teeth and scrubbed at his eyes. By the time his hand was away, Ianto was motionless again except for the soft rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

*

Ianto woke up with a start and sure enough, his cheeks were sodden and his eyes were sore. He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, glancing around the darkened room for a second time. This time, he didn't feel like going to find the Doctor immediately – he was feeling a strong pull to investigate the room.

The first place he looked was in the chest of drawers. He pulled it open and his jaw dropped at the sight of the contents. Scattered in the wooden drawer were a selection of things that Ianto recognised. There were photos of him and the team – including one of Ianto fast asleep on his bed, half curled up in the sheets and his mouth half open, the whole thing looking particularly endearing – and notes that Ianto had taken to sticking on Jack's work to make him pay attention.

The bright array of post-its made him smile and he ran his fingers over them gently before noticing, with a spark of annoyance, that Jack had even snatched one of his ties. He remembered looking for it for half an hour before resigning himself to wearing another one.

There were also other things, from other times and other aspects of his life. Ianto decided that he wasn't going to look at those any closer, he didn't have the right.

With a smile, he pushed the drawer closed and sighed, shuffling across the room and dropping into the large armchair – which reminded him strongly of his own.

He picked through the array of gadgets on Jack's table and picked up something that looked like a permanent version of Jack's wrist strap. He frowned at it and pressed one of the buttons which he recognised. A hologram flickered into life - just as John's had - but this time it was of Ianto, leaning on what must've been a doorframe.

"_Want a coffee, sir?"_ He asked casually, yawning slightly.

"_Uhhh… I don't know, what's this week's special?"_ Came Jack's voice.

"_What makes you think I have special coffee each week?"_ He saw himself ask defensively.

"_What makes you think you have to hide it?" _Jack asked silkily in reply. Ianto could remember the grin on his face as he said it.

"_Well, considering how tired I am, it'll be regular old industrial strength."_ Ianto smiled sleepily and yawned again.

"_Sorry, I must've worn you out last night."_ Jack said, laughter following it.

"_No, you didn't."_ Ianto rolled his eyes.

"_Yes, I did."_ Ianto shot the invisible Jack a look and invisible Jack laughed happily again, the grin evident in it.

"_If you want coffee, I would suggest getting out of your chair and making sure I don't fall asleep half way through."_ Ianto countered slyly, a small smile on his face.

"_Oh? And how would I do that?"_ Jack's voice sounded intrigued and Ianto could remember what had followed – sex in the kitchen area.

"_I'm sure you could use your imagination." _Ianto watched as he raised his eyebrows meaningfully and left the room, to the sound of Jack's chuckles and the hologram stopped, flashing _'End of File'_ at him in blue letters.

* * *

A/N: That last bit is partly taken from Minority Report - when Tom Cruise's character watches videos of his son even though he lost him.


	10. Chapter 10

Reasonably good chapter today, hope you like it!

* * *

Chapter 10

_**But the moment has passed by me now  
To have put away my pride  
And just come through for you somehow**_

"Doctor, we need to move quickly… They're trying to get Jack to sign a DNR order on me, he said my heart's getting weaker." Ianto said dully as he emerged from Jack's room.

"It must be the prolonged separation." The Doctor mused quietly. "Ah well, it's good I've found your power source then, isn't it?"

Ianto's face split into a grin. "You're saying I can go home?"

"There's no need to be so pleased about it…" The Doctor said with a hurt expression. "But yes, you can go home."

"Look, I didn't mean it like that." Ianto looked ashamed and frowned slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Truth is, I don't blame Jack in the slightest for running after you, not anymore, not after I've met you… You should come and visit him sometimes, he'd love it, I know he would."

"Ianto-" The Doctor began, feeling a little uneasy. Ianto cut him off.

"I'm not saying on a regular basis, just sometimes, perhaps when you're refuelling, give him a call, drop in and have a talk with him." Ianto fixed him with an intense look, which the Doctor met for a moment before grin broke out across his face.

"It's a deal." He smiled and the TARDIS hummed happily beside them. "In return, could you do something for me?"

"Sure." Ianto said, his relaxed expression creasing into a light frown.

"Will you tell him that I don't think he's wrong?" The Doctor's face was remorseful and his voice sounded guilty, so Ianto bit back the snarky retort that rose up unbidden. "Tell him that now I can see that there's nothing more _right_ that him. He'll know what I mean."

Ianto nodded and the Doctor jumped into life again, dragging Ianto back over to the chairs where he began to hook him up to the machine again.

*

"Jack, he's been having runs of v-tach for the past hour, it's wearing him out." Owen's voice was soft and pained from the opposite side of the bed. Jack had both elbows leaning on the soft mattress, hands clutching Ianto's as he pressed his lips to it once more, now a comfort thing to do when he felt out of his depth – something which was becoming an increasingly regular occurrence, not that he would admit that to anyone.

"I'm not going to do it, Owen. I'm not giving up." Jack said stubbornly, closing his eyes and sighing. It had been three days and he was starting to wear thin.

"I'm with Jack on this one, we can't give up on him." Gwen said from behind the captain, her hand on his shoulder.

"But what if this isn't anything paranormal? What if it's plain old, terrestrial brain damage?" Tosh whispered. "Sure, he doesn't need the respirator to breathe and his wounds are starting to heal, but his heart is deteriorating."

"Those bruises. I refuse to believe _that_ lot's explanation of delayed trauma." Jack snapped. "One minute they weren't there, the next they were spread across him. We watched the ones on his face appear, Owen!"

"I'll give you that, it's not a normal occurrence." Owen conceded.

"Owen, please. Don't do this to him. His brain waves are improving all the time, you can see that!" Jack was almost hysterical, though he concealed it well.

Owen felt extremely uncomfortable seeing Jack so broken down like this – he'd always been so stolid, so sure of himself. Now he was just a man in love who was facing the hardest decision of his life. Owen stayed silent and watched Jack wearily, debating whether to continue the argument or not.

Jack made up his mind for him.

"I won't do it." He said finally, Owen nodding his grudging agreement. Everyone knew that the conversation was closed from the look on Jack's face as he turned his attention back to Ianto.

*

"Why can't you just fly the TARDIS over to the hospital and shove me in the room?" Ianto asked curiously as the Doctor started the second wave of wires and readings.

"Well, you'd still be in two parts – your body and your soul." The Doctor stopped and stood up, chewing his lip as he thought. "This transaction needs an enormous amount of power, power that you can't find on the earth. So either way, I'd have to bring you back out here to hook you up and send all that energy through you."

"Oh." Ianto nodded, impressed by the obvious logic in the Doctor's answer. "Well, why can't I phone him? You know, and explain everything."

"You're manifested here because of the TARDIS – there's no guarantee that your voice would carry across the universe before the energy manifesting it dissipated… and a call from me wouldn't necessarily do any good. Now, I need you to concentrate on finding that link again. I need you to strengthen it as much as you can to ensure this works." Ianto nodded and closed his eyes again. He'd come to think of the connection as some sort of glowing, blue green rope in the darkness that had once consumed him and carried him away.

Now he could travel to and from in his sleep and it had been a small consolation for the wait. It didn't take long for the Doctor to be calling him back to his attention and he opened his eyes.

"This is serious, Ianto." He looked at him intently and Ianto focused and nodded. "This _should_ make you stick, it's more energy than the TARDIS has herself so there should be no draw left for you. It may start to come unglued though and you'll need to find some way of stamping on it and splicing your parts back together."

"Electric shock?" Ianto asked, already knowing what to do. He was still lying in the hospital ICU after all. The Doctor nodded at his suggestion and Ianto filed that piece of knowledge away, turning his focus back to the Doctor.

"I'm sorry, but I can't be sure about this. There's a risk that you could get stuck along the path somewhere, or lost, maybe even returning here. I honestly don't know." The Doctor looked worried, but Ianto just nodded and gave him a wry smile.

"If my body dies, I'm assuming this part of me does too. If my heart's failing because I'm not whole, then I need to do _something_." The Doctor nodded and smiled again, clapping Ianto on the back with a bark laughter.

"Ianto Jones, it's been a pleasure." He grinned and winked before slamming the lever down once more.


	11. Chapter 11

I wonder what happened to Ianto? :S

* * *

Chapter 11

_**You're the colour of the sky  
Reflected in each store-front window pane  
You're the whispering and the sighing  
Of my tires in the rain**_

Ianto was sent hurtling through the darkness, hitting himself headfirst into a wall of pain in his stomach like he hadn't felt since the bullet tore through his insides. His eyes shot open and he gritted his teeth, tears flooding from his eyes, his legs and arms instinctively curling to shelter the source.

"God!" He groaned, jaws clenched, eyes wide and his head craning back. He was vaguely aware of several gasps and exclamations, but he concentrated on the hand he was instinctively gripping onto.

"Ianto?" It was Tosh and she sounded scared to death.

"Does anyone _please_ have some painkillers?" He snarled, screwing his eyes up and trying to take deep breaths. Jack was chuckling next to him and he made a mental note to hurt him for it. Owen scrambled to inject something into his IV and after a few moments, a wave of warmth spread through him and he sighed in relief.

"Owen, his heart's still racing." Gwen said, her voice petrified. Ianto opened his eyes, still taking deep, calming breaths as he realised he could still feel the faint tug of ropes in his head, heart and stomach.

"You need to use the defibrillator. At three sixty." Ianto said through gritted teeth, fully aware of how much that was going to hurt. He glared at Owen, but he could feel the eyes of the team on him as well. Owen opened his mouth to object, but Ianto cut in. "Trust me, you don't have time. If you don't, I'm gone again. Permanently."

Owen shot a look to Jack, who'd gone incredibly still next to Ianto, still clutching the young man's hand. They had a silent conversation and eventually, Jack moved away from the bed and gestured for the two women to keep back as well. Owen let out a low whistle before pulling over the nearest crash cart, pulling Ianto's gown up and handing Jack the pads to place on his chest.

Ianto closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and held his face with his hands for a moment, listening as Owen got Tosh to squeeze the conductive gel onto the paddles and charge them up, the ascending buzz cutting through him. He heard a deep intake of breath, a whimper from Gwen and he clenched his fists, placing them at his sides and trying to ignore the steadily increasing tug on him.

"Owen, now!" He snarled, his face contorted in a grimace as the buzz continued to climb.

"Whatever you say… just remember it was your idea." He muttered, placing the paddles over the pads and as soon as the buzzing reached a constant, he put the paddles down and discharged them, electricity searing through Ianto painfully, making him cry out as his heart stopped momentarily and settled back into it's normal rhythm after only a second or two of silence.

He felt someone grab his hand again and another two people crowd his other side, patting his arm and smoothing his hair back.

"Jack, it hurts…" He murmured, suddenly exhausted, his entire body aching. Jack muttered something and Owen gave him another shot. He felt Jack's lips on his forehead, a couple of tears falling onto him from Jack's cheeks. Ianto just sighed and let his mind drift off into a true, visionless dream, fuelled by the morphine lacing his system.

*

The Doctor sighed heavily and sat down on the newly vacated seat, propping his feet up on the console in front of him, to which the TARDIS hummed disapprovingly. He grinned and stretched his hands behind his head as he tried to decide what to do next.

"What do you think I should do?" He asked absently, watching the lights pulse up and down the column, a sight that was as good as a lullaby to a baby. The lights flowed downwards and thrummed into the console, lighting up a particular area. The Doctor leaned forwards and found that there was a letter addressed to him lying on the lit up panel.

He picked it up and flicked the folded paper open to read the words.

**Doctor.**

**I want to thank you for every thing you've done for me over the past few days. To be brutally honest, I didn't know what to expect from the man who'd occupied Jack's mind and heart for such a long time, but now I see why he likes you so much. **

**The TARDIS is amazing machine, she helped a lot too – so thank her for me as well. Whilst I slept, I relived my memories at first, but after the injections, I was back behind my eyes, I could hear Jack. He was in so much pain and I was only sleeping. I don't want to think about what my death might do to him. **

**That's why I made a plan – with the TARDIS's help. She'll track my life line and once I'm dead, or left Jack's life line behind, she's going to tell you. When she does, she's going to make sure you go to him. I know you two have had problems in the past, but you're the only person who will be able to help him. **

**Once I'm gone – probably sooner than later, given Torchwood employees' life expectancies – you need to make him remember me. You need to take him away so he doesn't hurt when he thinks about me. You need to make sure he remembers all the good things and doesn't dwell on the bad. You need to keep him going. **

**It's a lot to ask, but I need to know that Jack won't just stop once I'm gone. The world would be a much darker place without him and it's already dark enough.**

**Thank you again and in advance,**

**Ianto.**

The Doctor looked up at the TARDIS and sighed in mock disapproval, shaking his head at the pulsating lights again and jumping up to pat the bottom of the huge column, eliciting a happy hum from her. He knew right then that there was a certainty in his life. For now, he had a destination and a task.

He wondered whether it was this man, Ianto Jones, who kept Jack going until he was just a big old head in a jar.

*

It had taken almost half an hour for Owen to drag Jack away from Ianto's sleeping form. The captain hadn't moved from the beside since he'd arrived and everyone knew that Jack wouldn't leave without someone forcing him to.

So that's just what they did.

Jack drove back to the Hub at a reasonably slow pace, a smile on his lips. It was still raining, but Jack had a new appreciation for the weather now. He got the feeling that whenever it rained, no matter where or when he was, he'd think of Ianto.


	12. Chapter 12

Penultimate chapter here guys :) There's one more - shorter - installment for the series after this one finishes though. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Chapter 12

_**You're the hidden cost and the thing that's lost  
In everything I do  
Yeah and I'll never stop looking for you**_

Jack arrived at the Hub with an immediate need to clean up as quickly as possible. Of course, as soon as he stepped into the shower, he realised that everything was still going to be alright if he spent an extra half hour making sure he was fully okay to go back.

The thought of Ianto waking up alone terrified him, but Owen had assured him that he was heavily medicated and that one of them would stay with him at all times. He tried not to think of how close he'd been to signing that order and thanked whatever God was out there that he'd gone half mad and heard Ianto talking to him.

As he moved through his bunker, he was suddenly glad that he hadn't come back sooner – there were reminders of Ianto everywhere.

There were clothes still strewn around the place, suits hung up in the wardrobe, even a hoody lying on his pillow – but that was one of Jack's deliberate things. To him, that hoody was the epitome of Ianto away from work. He loved that side of his lover and the jumper reminded Jack not to let it fall by the wayside.

There were also several changed bandages from his hand and face and a supply of medical things, should the cuts get knocked open. Jack swallowed hard and averted his gaze, trying not to let himself refuel the anger he'd felt at Tom that night.

Ianto was completely integrated into his life now, but he'd known that the day he'd come back and Ianto had rejected him. He didn't realise how hard it would be to lose Ianto and he hadn't even lost him yet. He felt vulnerable, scared even, at the fact that one day, all too soon for him, Ianto would be gone – whether through premature death or retirement, Jack couldn't predict.

He gritted his teeth, shoved the thought from his mind and carried on getting dressed.

*

Ianto had slept for a little over seven hours when he opened his eyes again. He blinked in confusion a couple of times before he realised he must've been moved onto a private room – probably on 'Torchwood's orders. He was also pleased to find he was propped up in a half sitting position.

He looked around and smiled at the sight of Jack, slumped forwards in his seat with his head rested on his folded arms, which were in turn resting next to Ianto's legs. He smiled and gently ran his fingers through Jack's hair, surprised at how comforting it was.

After a couple of minutes, Jack jumped and sat up, suddenly on edge. Ianto could help but chuckle at it. Jack just groaned in realisation and rubbed his eyes before looking over at him, the tension leaving his shoulders as his posture relaxed.

"I'm taking the hospital expenses out of your wages, you know." Jack said with a wry grin.

"But you forget that I handle the expense claims." Ianto retorted in a whisper and his own smile. As whole as he was, he was still weak from the stomach wound and his heart.

"That's a very good point, I'll remember to talk to my lawyer about that one." Jack's grin sobered up a little as the sound of Ianto's voice, his words grating harshly against his dry throat, but it didn't stop the elation at hearing him back to his usual banter.

"I think you'll find your lawyer would be on my side." Ianto raised his eyebrows and they both knew it was true. In Torchwood Three, Jack dealt with the majority of all law related issues and they both knew that Ianto could easily get his way with him. Jack laughed lightly and linked his fingers with Ianto's before looking up at him once more.

"Where were you, Ianto?" He asked softly, the pain evident in his voice. Ianto sighed and thought how to phrase it. This needed explaining and he needed to be able to say more than two sentences at a time before he could do that properly.

"I was with an old ally." He finally said, the mysterious smile on his face telling Jack that he'd get nothing more from the young man on that subject, not yet. Ianto coughed slightly and winced at the pain it sent to his stomach.

"Sorry, I'll get Owen to-" Jack began, his pace contorted at the sound. Ianto gripped his hand to stop him from moving.

"Don't. I don't want to go to sleep yet. I just need a drink." Ianto managed to whisper and Jack deliberated for a moment before nodding and helping Ianto sit forward, handing him some ice-chips which Ianto insisted on feeding himself. As they melted, water flooded his mouth and ran down his throat, instantly helping. "You wouldn't believe how good that felt."

"Hmmm…" Jack thought for a moment before perching on the edge of the bed and leaning in, capturing Ianto's lips in a soft, slow kiss, his heart jumping as he felt Ianto's lips reply for the first time in days. He pulled away reluctantly and sighed before smiling. "I think I do."

Ianto ran his fingers over Jack's face gently, enjoying the feeling of his skin after what seemed like an age apart. Despite his frailty, Ianto shuffled over to one side of the bed and pulled on Jack's arm gently. The captain looked at him through weary eyes before Ianto growled in frustration.

"I almost died, yes, but I'm on the mend. Please, Jack?" He looked imploringly at his lover and after a moment of internal battling, Jack moved to sit next to him, lying on top of the covers. Ianto settled in, leaning his weight against him and twisting a little until he was as comfortable as he was going to get, a hand resting on Jack's chest and gripping onto the material of his shirt lightly.

They lay like that for a long time, Jack passing Ianto the cup of ice chips at various points, after his voice started to crack whilst he spoke. They chatted about various mundane things, laughing at the others when they came to see him and Owen accused Jack of 'inappropriate exercises'.

As Ianto slept that night, Jack remained next to him, listening to the soft yet reassuringly strong beat of his heart and sound of his breathing, smiling gently at it the entire time. They seemed to be telling him that they were still there and they weren't giving out anytime soon.

_That's all well and good_, Jack thought to himself as he watched Ianto's eyelids fluttering a little in REM sleep, _because he still has one hell of a story to explain_.


	13. Chapter 13

Yep, last chapter folks - really hope you've enjoyed it though! The final (three part) installment for this series will start sometime over the weekend, so look out for it! Thankyou all so much for your comments and support :D Love ya!

* * *

Chapter 13

_**In the sunlight and the shadows…  
**_

_**That's the way love is  
Sky blue and black**_

"He said that now, he could see that there's nothing more _right_ than you." Ianto finished his tale as he stared out of the window at the thunderstorm raging outside, the sky dark and bruised as the clouds reverberated with angry rolls of thunder.

"You were in the TARDIS?" Jack asked incredulously, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at the young man, who simply nodded.

It had been two weeks since he'd woken up and Owen had cleared him to be off the heart monitors, meaning he could sit by the window and read when he wanted. It had improved his mood dramatically. Of course, it also meant that Jack had asked for an explanation. Now he was playing host to a war of emotions again.

"Something in the bullet got into my system, but it didn't take effect until later on. As it didn't happen when I was in A and E, I can only assume the shock straight to my heart in the operation was what activated it." Ianto shrugged and looked away from the sheets of rain to see Jack staring at the floor, his teeth gritted and his fists clenched. "What's wrong?"

"That was supposed to be recreational…" Jack growled. "It was a drug dosed and activated in specialised places, like futuristic sensory deprivation. You set a time to be under, they activated it and returned you when your time was up. I didn't realise that it could be replicated away from there. I should've but I didn't."

"Jack, it's not your fault – none of this was." Ianto reached over from his chair and put his hand on Jack's knee, squeezing it gently.

"What if you hadn't been drawn to the TARDIS? You would've just… _existed_, in two states until one part or the other failed…" Jack shook his head and looked at Ianto, cupping his cheek gently and staring into his eyes. Ianto was smiling and Jack frowned at the secret joke he laughing at. "What?"

"Nothing… I just heard things on the TARDIS… You know when you asked me what to do? And I said 'Don't you dare give up on me'…" Jack nodded slightly, his hand dropping from Ianto's face as the young man's expression softened. "That wasn't a hallucination, Jack. That was me. And trust me, you _will_ survive, no matter what happens to me – that's a promise."

Jack nodded mutely and bit his lip, obviously wanting to say something but thinking better of it. Ianto was suddenly aware of how heavy the atmosphere was and he sighed. He hated this kind of tension. That's what was so good about the rain – nothing and nobody could restrain it. Those who tried were faced with the futility of human intervention.

"Can we go outside, Jack?" He asked suddenly, breaking the silence and looking up at him hopefully. Jack's face split with a smile and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"No way. Owen wouldn't be pleased." Jack laughed at the disappointed pout Ianto's smile dropped into and Jack patted him lightly on the cheek. "Next time, when you're back at home and there's a thunderstorm, I promise not to pull you inside, okay?"

"Fine." Ianto glared at Jack, made a 'hmphf'-ing noise, turning back to the glass. "Can you at least open one of the windows?"

Jack rolled his eyes and nodded, much to Ianto's appreciation, and pushed himself up off the bed to open one of the windows on a vertical hinge. As he made to walk past Ianto, back to the bed, he felt a tug on his arm and was pulled off balance, Ianto catching his face and kissing him hard, a silent promise of something more when he was better.

Reluctantly, Jack pulled away first and sat on the arm of the chair, wrapping his arms around Ianto pulling him close, the young man resting his head on Jack's chest, arms around his waist. Together, they watched the rain fall and listened to the crashing of the thunder, echoing through the streets.

*

A little less than a month later, Ianto was back at home with crutches to help him walk. The bullet had caused enough trauma to his spinal column to have cause temporary paralysis from his knees down. It had slowly faded and improved, but it had still left his muscles reasonably weak through lack of use.

It was only when Owen and Jack were satisfied that he could care for himself that they co-signed his discharge papers. Of course, Jack had absolutely no intention of leaving Ianto alone in his flat for any longer than absolutely necessary. Once Ianto had gained back enough strength to move around on his own for prolonged periods of time, he'd insisted that Jack go back to Hub, for at least a few hours each day. It wasn't like he was going anywhere, after all.

Jack soon settled into a rhythm of spending a couple of hours each morning and afternoon in the Hub and assisting on runs when needed. It was a miracle that the team had been able to pull together to cover Ianto's duties, but one both men were grateful for.

He spent most of his free time curled up with Ianto either on the sofa or in bed, arms around him and tuning himself into the sound of the other man's heartbeat.

"I forgot to ask you this earlier, but when I was with the Doctor, I stayed in your room and I found your home videos." Ianto said curiously as he traced lazy circles on Jack's forearm, where his sleeves were rolled up.

"Oh?" Jack asked, a slightly embarrassed smile on his face as he remembered the chips.

"Yeah, I pressed a couple of buttons and it turned on." Ianto smiled to himself. "You had ones of me asking you for coffee or yelling at you about filing, but that got me thinking… did you ever make… others?"

"Yes, I did." Jack said quietly, swallowing and nodding sincerely, though Ianto couldn't see him. "I keep them for when I don't have… the real thing anymore."

"Good." Ianto said with a sigh, closing his eyes and settling back into Jack's arms.

*

Ianto was currently sitting on his sofa, a week or so later, watching a film and Jack was trying to spend as much time as possible prolonging his search for his mobile and keys. Ianto was just about to point out that they were already in his coat, hanging on the back of the bedroom door, when he heard a clap of thunder and Jack whipped round to look at him.

Ianto just grinned and started to push himself up.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked carefully as Ianto made his way, still dressed in a t-shirt and pyjama trousers, to the front door.

"Perfectly." He replied with a grin, Jack sighing and hurrying over to help him down the stairs outside his flat.

"Why do I do this?" Jack asked absently as he caught Ianto under the arm when his knees buckled from moving too fast. Ianto turned and kissed him slowly. "Ah, _that's_ why."

They went down the last two flights of stairs and Ianto almost dragged Jack across the entrance way, supporting himself against the wall as he made his way over to the door. He pulled it open and stepped out into the torrential rain, looking up into the sky with a childlike smile on his face that told Jack this was all worth it.

They were soaked to the skin within seconds, but Jack suddenly didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around the young man's waist and felt Ianto rest his hands on his arms and sigh in contentment. After several long and cold minutes, Ianto twisted in Jack's arms and kissed him again, harder this time and deeper, their tongues running together and lips and bodies melded around each other.

They stood locked in their embrace, rain cascading over them and running down their faces and necks, soaking every inch of them. Jack was cold and Ianto was starting to shiver, but neither of them cared because, for what felt like the first time an eternity, they were one whole again – two parts of the puzzle finally locked together.

"You do this because you love me, Jack, and you've seen me covered in bruises and blood and on death's door. You do this because it makes me feel alive and you love it." Ianto murmured, answering Jack's earlier question with words this time as he pulled back for breath and leaned his head on Jack's shoulder. "Thank you."

**

FIN x.


End file.
